Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
