The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
