My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
