i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
