i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
