he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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