We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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