Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
