in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
