You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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