is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
