he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
