Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
