i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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