We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
