five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
