Swine flu is the new snow day.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
