The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
