Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
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