best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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