im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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