I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
