I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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