you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
