Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
