Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
