Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
sex in a hospital.. check
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
