I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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