i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
