Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
