you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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