remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
