I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
