I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
