its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
