my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize