I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
