I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
