You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
