ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
