When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
