Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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