just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize