Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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