Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
