I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
