I heard we made out
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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