Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
