I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
