this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The chlamydia really affected his face.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
