Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am puke
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
