I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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