she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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