Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
