I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
