I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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