She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
