You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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