i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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