this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
