im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
