morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
