Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
