Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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